The countries/city I am referring to are men. My intention of this blog post is about men I have known either dated them or been in a committed relationship with them. Like how we travel around the world, some places are not worth going back to. Some people who come in our lives are exactly like countries and city I will never visit again and this post are some stories why so.
Since 14 years I been co dependant with a partner. I decided to live another way, the opposite way, celibate and definitely not flirt with ANYONE. Which is hard for me as a single woman who works around men. Right now my current job is a personal trainer. I love men. Before I can actually change, I always want to know what is actually going on with how I approach when it comes to a relationship with a guy.
I read an article that was written by someone (I will need to share the link) part of it mention “love at level” . This is a big “ah ha” moment. This mean that if I was dating , I was doing or acting more than someone who is dating. Like I would cook for him, etc which I shouldn’t because I start to take care of “him” like as if I am already married to him. OHMAN! This is big realization for me because usually I usually don’t know how to show I care in different way.
ETHOPIA -Mr E
I have known Mr E for very long time. I mean more than 20yrs long. We reconnected somehow on Facebook back in 2015. I don’t know what it is about Mr Euthopia. Seeing him make it familiar. We can be in a car and barely words exchange but somehow we understand each other.
When he reconnected with me, he was already in a committed relationship. I don’t know how it happen but his gf was furious when she found out he has been talking to other girls behind her back. One thing leads to another, she went off and online shame me on FB. Sadly Mr Euthopia didn’t do anything to protect me. He send me a text saying “don’t text me back”. Now this is a big turn off for me. A strong man should be able to protect me but somehow I was left alone and shame.
Fast forward recently – 2024. It was coincidence we bump into each other at work event. He found me on Instagram and we start texting again. This time he was single but something click me about this “connection” he can’t protect me. Maybe I was seeing him as what I think he CAN be but did not see him as what he is. I will never visit Euthophia again. (not literally)
What is familiar to me does not mean it is good for me. So what is familiar to you and you know it is not good for you but you still hang on to that person?
ANGOLA – Central of Africa
For this one I didn’t visit , for the case of this post it means I only thought of it because Mr Angola did look at me for quite some time while I was working and people around us notice. Here is what I can say, I am very smitten by his sweet gestures. I admit he could be someone I actually want to hang out with but…
He does not live in the same country as me and that itself is tricky. Furthermore I have crush on someone else. For me, I can’t catch feeling for two people at the same time. One of my principle I am trying to instill is faithfulness. So no visiting Angola although the thought did cross my mind.
In this case, even if I could does not mean I should. Is there someone you know now you think you like to pursue but know deep down you should not?
France
This is one of my ex. His name starts with F which explain why it is Mr France. We were in a relationship for about 4-5months. We rarely argue, laugh quite a lot together and see each other quite often. We had maybe 2 big fight and he called it quit. One reason was he was not sure what happen on his feeling towards me but “it just snap” (according to him). Another reason is when he first heard who my ex was he was taken back and question himself “how do I compete with him?”
I am complete turn off by the fact that a guy I choose to be with compare himself with my previous partner. I am going to quote from Crazy Rich Asian “It’s not my job to make you feel like a man. I can’t make you something you are not.”
Mr France tried to reconnect by wishing me happy new year. I deleted his number like how we women should have done after a break up. I replied “who is this?.” Poor guy mention his name and I wished him happy new year back and that was it. I deleted all of our conversation on telegram. Telegram has option to delete for both you and the other person. I never heard from him again. Amen.
I will never give the thought to visit France again. Again, it is not my job to make someone feel like a man despite of my past. It says alot about who I dated, great guys.
Lessons to learn
So much lesson to learn in my life and finally when I compare it to countries /city it is somehow similar. There are countries you are meant to be living in for about 2 years, some city you explore and have fun with, some places are extremely dangerous to even go to but sometimes you want the thrill then you get hurt.
So what countries or city, in this case guys you will never visit again or even go and why? Tell me about it in the comment.
